I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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