well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize