started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
