So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
