i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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