whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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