I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
