cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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