oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Acid is not a monday night drug
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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