How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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