My friends, they love my intelligence
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
