Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
