Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The uberlube is also flammable
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
