Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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