Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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