i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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