She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
