We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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