paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
ok first of all what the fuck
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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