Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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