I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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