i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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