I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There r osticjed everywhere
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I came so hard my ears popped.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
