you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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