don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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