Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There r osticjed everywhere
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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