shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
