I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
