We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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