Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
