My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
