all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
