Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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