i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
