We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
