so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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