Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can't turn off my feet"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
