Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
