I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize