I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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