remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
