i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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