Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
