How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Too much gin, very little bucket
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
