Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
if only i could text you this smell
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
