so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize