Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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