i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
