dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
