My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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