The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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