I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
