If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.