this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.