I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize