I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I just put wine in my tea
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
