Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
