my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
