Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize